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Engang i foråret 1982 stjal Berlingske Tidendes Bagsideredaktør
dette brev fra det norske blad Farmand.

Denne her udgave stammer fra et nummer
af det danske magasin Ingeniøren.

Brevet er -
efter sigende.. -
fra en italiener, der føler sig dårligt behandlet af et engelsk KFUM-hotel, som han har boet på i London.

Artikel fra april 2003

The Manager
YMCA Hotel

Rom 28.9.1981

Dear Signore Direttore,

Noew I am tella you story wot I was a-treated at zour hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a-yuonga chirstian man at your hotella.

When I comma in my room I se there is no shit in my bed
- how can I sleep with no shit in my bed?
So I calla down to recetione and tella:

- I wanta shit.
They tell me:
- Go to toilet.
I say:
- No, no, I wanta shit in myn bed.
They say:
- You´d better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch.
What is sonna-wa-bitch?

I go down for breakfast in ristante.
I order bacon and egga and to pissis of toast.
I tella witress, and point at toast.
She talla me:
- Go to toilet.
I say:
- No, no, I wanta piss on my plate.
So then she say to me:
- You´d bloody wella not piss on your plate.

That is the second person who do not even know me calla me "sonnawa-bitch", and why is your staff replying "go to toilet", ist that a modern tella?
I do not understand, please tella me.

Later I go for dinner in your ristorante.
Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fuck. I tella waitress:
-I wanta fock.
And she tella me:
- Sure everyone wanta foc.
I tell her:
- No, no you dont understanda me, I wanta fock on the table.
She tella me:

- So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table?
Get your ass out of here.
How comma this christian hotella tella the guests in such bad manner?

So I go to receptione and as for bill.
I no wanta stay in this hotella no more. When I have pais the a-billa the portier say to me:
-Thank you and piss on you.
I say:
-Piss on you too you sonna-wa-bitch I now go back to Italy.

Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more you sonna-wa-bitch,

Dicci Elgré

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